TANGLED IN NO-STRINGS LOVE Fell for the girl I was sleeping with… but I’m worried she’s still having sex with another man

 

It should be a happy ending but she’s in touch with a guy she used to sleep with from time to time and the way she is around him makes me suspicious.

I’m tempted to go over there with my firm and sort him out — but I don’t want to do anything over the top.

I got to know my girlfriend through Facebook nearly a year ago. We were both in unhappy relationships and chatted for months before meeting in person.

Although we said it was just for fun, we got on like magic and the sex was fantastic. We soon knew it was going to be something more.

She is 23, I am 26. I love her dearly and I know she loves me but I get suspicious that there may be another man in her life too.

She has lots of friends, male and female, but particularly this guy. She has admitted to me that they used to have sex occasionally. And I’m not 100 per cent sure they’ve stopped.

When I asked her to tell me more she said the sex stopped a long time ago and they are just friends now.

I’m worried she’s still seeing somebody else – should I go over with my firm?

I still find it uncomfortable when she talks about him though.

I know it is difficult to trust someone when you have both been cheaters before getting together, but I am faithful to her.

I think she is faithful too but there is always this small doubt in my mind and I need to be rid of it.

I have met this guy and told him there would be trouble if I felt that anyone was fooling around with her. I need to put my mind at rest.

DEIDRE SAYS: You’re a man who is used to calling the shots and being in control, but important ingredients in a loving and committed relationship are respect and trust.

Don’t even think of calling on your “firm” to menace this guy.

You may be accustomed to violence and breaking the law, but that doesn’t make it OK and your girlfriend might well break up with you instantly if she just heard about it.

It is horribly controlling behaviour and she would wonder what would be your next move.

You love her and that makes you feel vulnerable, but the grown-up way to deal with that is to share your feelings with her, tell her you need reassurance that you can trust her.

Ask how she sees the future of your relationship and check the two of you are thinking along the same lines.

For help with this, email me at the address below for a copy of my e-leaflet Dealing With Jealousy.

In the meantime, do try to focus your energies into making this relationship rewarding and fun, not all snooping and menacing. I’m worried she’s still seeing somebody else – should I go over with my firm?

I still find it uncomfortable when she talks about him though.

I know it is difficult to trust someone when you have both been cheaters before getting together, but I am faithful to her.

I think she is faithful too but there is always this small doubt in my mind and I need to be rid of it.

I have met this guy and told him there would be trouble if I felt that anyone was fooling around with her. I need to put my mind at rest.

DEIDRE SAYS: You’re a man who is used to calling the shots and being in control, but important ingredients in a loving and committed relationship are respect and trust.

Don’t even think of calling on your “firm” to menace this guy.

You may be accustomed to violence and breaking the law, but that doesn’t make it OK and your girlfriend might well break up with you instantly if she just heard about it.

It is horribly controlling behaviour and she would wonder what would be your next move.

You love her and that makes you feel vulnerable, but the grown-up way to deal with that is to share your feelings with her, tell her you need reassurance that you can trust her.

Ask how she sees the future of your relationship and check the two of you are thinking along the same lines.

For help with this, email me at the address below for a copy of my e-leaflet Dealing With Jealousy.

In the meantime, do try to focus your energies into making this relationship rewarding and fun, not all snooping and menacing.

 

Source:https://www.thesun.co.uk/dear-deidre/4413434/dear-deidre-sex-another-man/

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