– Of The Wee Republic Preacher, And Alubuntu’s Mad Rush Free SHS

Ah, Agbayimi you too … What is with all these konkonsa glances at me by everybody?… I know very well that I am not carrying a dead monkey so what is it that seems to have turned me into the centre of attraction in this our land of foul mouths?!

Oooooh, okay … so you people have seen the eyesore too!… of that Nii Oto Dudu Professor guy guzzling apio in the Eastern district of Legon. Hahahahaha, eeei Ghanamaniancs, so this one too you want my big mouth to talk? Lailai, I nogo do.

Mbanor, my mouth is not an ambulance!

What has Dudu the Prof quaffing apio got to do with me Kofi Abodwepim Nyantomago even if he is the head of Ghanaman’s Standard Board? Ah, was I the one who put him there? Why don’t you go tell Alubuntu about it?

As the Mawu Sogbolisor Himself is my witness, have I not long said that that Dudu man is a walking dangerousness to the sanity of Ghanaman? But no one would believe me! Mmhm, was it not this same Dudu the Professor of chemicals who went to tell Kpaliament that it would be good to turn Ghanaman into a leading exporter of Abonsam Tawa? Oyiwa!

Now Agbayimi, tell me, do you think that if Dudu were not to be a disciple of Abonsam Tawa, also known as devil weed, notoriously known as wee, and rascally called ganja, he would gather the boldness to go before the August House to suggest that we turn exporters?

I give myself the benefit of the doubt, the day he went to the August House to ask for Ghanaman to become wee exporter, he was high on the stuff! Mbanor, from the shape of his mouth alone, Me Abodwepim Nyantomago, I saw straight away that Dudu the Prof of Ghanaman Standard Board was a dangerous ashiwaba, immediately he suggested that we become the Wee Republic of Afrkana.

And so if today, you have seen him flooding his own mouth with apio in the Eastern region of Legon why do you wish me to commentate? Hmm!

Dudu the Prof of chemicals is one of those people who have the devil himself brewing palmwine in their heads; I believe this with all my heart.

The philosophy is Rasta, the mindset is wonyowornyo…. Abodaaaaam!

Agbayimi, I know you are worried that this apio guzzling, wee kingdom preaching ganja apostle of a Professor is the head of Ghanaman’s Standard Board but before you curse the rat check out your own personal hygiene first.

Ask yourself who put ganja preacher in that sensitive position of Ghanaman? Eheeee, you see, it was Alubuntu.

And if it is Alubuntu who put him there, are you not being silly in allowing surprise over Ganja Preacher’s evangelism in the name of the Ganja, the Wee and the Ntampi? Hey, nobody should forget that Alubuntu is Ghanaman’s number one human chimney.

As Wikileaks is my witness Amega Alubuntu lives under a climate of wee smoke that hang around him. Ah, who can forget the weather forecasts of thick cumulonimbus clouds of wee smoke around Alubuntu in the mornings?

So Agbayimi, Ziboyim, Mansrototo – all of you – stop acting surprise and looking to me for an address of this issue  – Dudu  the Prof of Chemicals, guzzling akpeteshi in public at a hotel in the Eastern region of Legon, even though he is the bossman of Ghanaman Standard Board is only a symptom of Ghanaman’s leadership.

Heck, are we even sure it was not Alubuntu who asked Dudu the Prof of chemicals to go and tell Kpaliament to legalize wee? … Alubuntu is a ragamuffin rascal you know; no rascality is beyond him.

Mmtcheew,, let’s talk of something better, jooor!

…oh yes, I knew it was coming Akudugu, “Free SHS!”… Being the most idiotic among us, I would have been surprised if you had not raised Free SHS.

But Akudugu, as much as I know that the original thought behind Free SHS, which was put in Ghanaman’s Constitution by our elders, is good I refrain from encouraging you to avail yourself of it to cure your idiocy.

Why?…. Alubuntu’s way of going about it is nothing but populist and this is worrying indeed. See, me Abodwepim, I am not a doomsayer, but even from where I sit, I can see that Free SHS is going to crush.

Ask yourselves, was it for nothing that since 2008, Alubuntu had not been able to provide us with the source of funding until only last week? You all remember how he danced around the source of funding for Free SHS even at BBC; no?

Alubuntu, while speaking to the whole world through BBC, promised to come and tell Ghanamaniacs the source of the funding later as if Ghanaman did not have tuning access to BBC. And when he returned from the Queen’s Land, later, did he tell of the funding? No!

My point is that Alubuntu did not have any funding source in mind. Free SHS had been a desperate promise to win a pass to Flagstaff House. And so when fortune smiled down on his propagandist self in 2016, the surprise had also come with the challenge of proving his boast.

Alubuntu had to cogitate and think deep about what to tell Ghanaman.

And now, here we are, our Amega says he is going to use oil money. Ayooo. But already, are we not all witnesses to the fact that oil prices are not stable? The simple question to ask then is, is Free SHS going to be tied to the change-your-style-be-like-that topsy-turvy game of Oil prices? Ei, asem beba dabi ooo. Yooo.

A good way of seeing the trouble at hand is to compare the way JDM started the progressive implementation of Free SHS in 2014 to the mad, thoughtless stampede that these elephants are stomping all over the place in the name of Alubuntyu’s version of Free SHS…they have even started sacking Headteachers!

I swear Alubuntu never thought this through! Yesterday, Akologo called me and expressed worry about the fate of private SHS, saying they will all be forced to turn into remedial schools.

I told Akologo that the writing he was seeing on the wall was not clear to him alone; even idiots like Akudugu can see it, or Akudugu? In all your faults you are not also a blind elephant, I know.

Now if what we are seeing comes through, public sector Secondary education in Ghanaman, which is at the moment very qualitative, will lose its quality and become like SAITO. Everybody knows that no Ghanamaniac parent, who has the means would want his children to attend government primary schools.

Mbanor, things projecting from the future of secondary education do not look good… hmmm.

But the annoying part of the whole thing is that Alubuntu is just going about, full of himself as he collects praise for Free SHS. As I watch him do the elephant dance and strut like a peacock, one question keeps recurring in my mind: How many SHS schools have the elephants built to warrant this false pretense that Alubuntu and Kukruduu are the messiahs of our education? Akudugu, even you know the answer is “none.”

From the government of JAK the sexy eyes to Alubuntu, not even a single SHS was built by the elephants. And so if Alubuntu, can today afford to pretend to be rolling out Free SHS, is it not only proper that he acknowledges the efforts of the Umbrella boys and girls who built almost all the SHS schools?

Who can forget that JDM alone built the 200 Community Day schools that have made it possible for Alubuntu to roll out Free SHS?… But that is the elephants for you, they never know how to give credit, … especially Alubuntu!

Kpor ra, was it not this same Alubuntu who went to cut sod for the Akumfi Pineapple factory to officially launch his ‘One district, One factory’ policy, when sod had already been cut two years before he would become Amega?

Yesterday I heard selfsame Alubuntu taking credit for the Ghanaman ID Card even though it was JDM who had done all the groundwork for the card to come to life. Smh.

And so, Akudugu, when you praise Free SHS as a shining achievement of Alubuntu, I pity you, because you are behaving like a blind elephant even though your nose is very short. And just as your nose is short, your brain is also too small to see that this short elephant is eagerly leading all of us in Ghanaman to a ditch.

I shudder to think the dangerous ramifications for secondary school education in this land of our death, even as the first cash release for Free SHS came short by 80%.

Hmm, if in the beginning, it is only 20% that has been released, are we to trust Ghanaman’s government, which has a reputation for diminishing returns, to increase the amounts in future?

Mbanor, we must pray for education in Ghanaman!




Source: therepublicnewsonline.com/Kofi Nyantomango

The Republic News Online

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