Of Kramo Sallah, A-Plus The Sheep And The Deputy Thieves-Of-Staff

Asalamatu Alaikum, Walaahi bottom power…Special barika da sallah to all kramo brothers and sisters of Ghanaman!

Aaaah; Allah subahana talia macroni, has done it again ooo. Ya Allah Himself, the most Gracious, the most Merciful, the most Beneficent, has traversed another full calendar with us and we have lived to see another Eid-Ul-Adha. His name be praised forevermore.

But as we make merry in Zongo, may the lessons of sacrifice from this Eid, not be lost on us ooo!

Eeeeh, let us be moderate in everything we do. I mean, for the love of Allah and his prophets, those of us who are powerful elephants with houses that transmogrify into abattoirs, let us, at least in this auspicious season, learn to turn down bribes in the form of goats and sheep.


Labora, be careful ok, I never mentioned any Onaabu Bugari de Tamale. If somebody has said Onaabu’s home address is P.O. Box Private Abattoir, For Da Free Goats, Sheep and Cows, what has that got to do with me?

I beg, no put momoni for my mouth inside!

But wait, what is with this new suspicion all over Ghanaman? Are we supposed to take it that we cannot talk about goats and sheep in this country of our death anymore without being guilty of reference to Onaabu Bugari? … why, at the mention of mmeeeerh, or muuuu, Onaabu Bugari must get a salute?

Tweaa, masa, tell that to Otiko!

Today, me Kofi Abodwepim Nyantomango, I will talk about goats and sheep, and cows and mmeeerrh; even the muuu, and I dare any ochokobilla nonsense womanbean to say fiiw.

Why, it is Sallah time! And if it is Sallah time is it not funeral season for sheep?…Must I even still mention that there is a new breed of sheep in town?

Tsoo! Don’t tell me you have not heard about the genetically modified womanbeanic type of sheep that they call A-Plus!

Asenso, Alubuntu’s second deputy Thief-of-Staff was the one who was all over the place crying sheep, sheep, sheepish!… of course, he was not speaking in parables!

You twat, I repeat the rhyme for your benefit…

“Baa, baa black sheep, A-Plus you say muu?

Yes suh, massa thieves are two

One is Asenso, one is Abu

Both very stupid thieves-of-staff

In Flagstaff House”

Now I put it to you, Labora, you understand this plainly. No?…eeeeh! A Plus is a sheep, according to Asenso; Asenso is a thief according to A Plus. Asenso’s partner in thievery is Abu, according to A Plus.

Both of the two of them are deputy thieves-of-staff in the Flagstaff House!

But, I beg oo, let me ask this one. Are the julor kwakwe stories from Flagstaff House not becoming one too many? I mean, we all remember what that Assin loose cannon, Akompreko, said about Gabi Asare Otwi-Darko…did he not say Gabi was robbing in the name of Alubuntu?

And who can forget that Gabi’s transformation of Flagstaff House into an Ataa Ayi goldmine had first been announced by Osofo Bempah, the bleach-faced man of God who only knows how to prophesy about Alubuntu?

When the alligator, announces from the hill tops that the crocodile has rotten teeth, we don’t put our hand in the mouth of the crocodile to investigate. We do what we call, ‘giving the benefit of the doubt.’

Me, Kofi Nyantomango, I choose to give the alligator the benefit of the doubt!

Talking of doubt, Ziboyim, don’t you have some about what the people of Kenyatta are doing? I mean does it make sense that after an election has been certified by the international community as free and fair, six cantankerous deadwood judges will do the unthinkable of annulling the results?

I watched Uhuru closely when he declared that he did not agree with the judgment, but accept it…hmm, I can say without contradiction that he will never accept the results if a re-run goes against him.

Mbanor, we must fast and pray for Kenyatta….the coming events that have started casting their shadows do not look good.

But oh, Maanu the Mark! He couldn’t even wait for a while before he would start jubilating!

Maanu the Mark who denied being a rigging agent after he was deported like excreta from Kenyatta on suspicion of plans to help Odinga rig against Uhuru thinks his vindication has come because the election has been annulled! Ayoo, we live to see.

Kutuku, don’t ask me about Quaitoo…why do you need me to tell you that the idiot deserves what he got? Quaitoo had no presence of mind to see his Yombo wearing Minister as a cantankerous man but could muster the temerity to call my own Pepe people difficult.

We are liars, he said; I don’t blame him! He is an elephant who has benefited from the lying ways of Mugu Yaro.

Dr. Val has already said it, and I repeat: May the very Army Worms that he accused us of lying about crawl into his Awingaa Minister’s yombo hair and create a bald pate like the motorway; so that the whole world can see once and for all that this army worm infestation is not a matter of politricks.

Everybody knows that yombo Minister lied when he declared that, ‘At long last, the battle is ended, and Ghanaman your beloved country, is free from army worms!’ everybody knows.

Anyway, we are finally in the ninth month of the year. Free SHS is coming on! But why have they launched a logo for it? Why is free SHS some business venture? Ah, but Alubuntu paa.

Akologo, you told me the logo was plagiarized? Ei, again! Ah, but was it not only in January that Alubuntu stole and did frafra, mix-mix, dafaduka with the speeches of some four American Presidents at his investiture? Elephants will never learn!

Anyway, as a Ghanamaniac, I exercise the right to be participant and not a spectator in the Free SHS debate, and I put it to Alubuntu that a logo was completely unnecessary.

And, how much did they spend on this logo? We have to know. I ask ooo, because you know these people and jankarayu. The last time they spoke of logos at Ghana@60, we ended up having Ghc5million spent on the blind side of all of us.

That aside, methinks it is very irresponsible that we have a logo for Free SHS but do not have a policy document available on it ooo.

Akologo, you are the smart one, what does it profit us to have a beautiful logo for Free SHS when there is no policy document on it? Eeh?

Oh you are yawning, Kutuku? …. Hmm. Smh.




Source: therepublicnewsonline.com

The Republic News Online

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *