NKONSONKONSO 

………..Pastorpreneurship’   

Look, I am not one of those people who profess to know the Bible so well that the Holy Ghost, himself, has revealed to me that the botanical name of the Son of God is Jesus Kristi.

But me, Kofi Abodwepim Nyantomago, I also know that the way to seal prayer to Mawu Himself is to say ‘Amen’ and not ‘Awomen!’

I swear on the grave of my great grandfather, Okoto Nyantomago Rasta, that even though I do not fully understand the Word of God, I do not overstand it either.

Aah, must I be Pope Nyantomago the 1st before I can say that this time round Super Pastor has not only gone round the bend but has jumped for the gulf?…eeh?… Is it not in the Bible that womanbeans are the photocopy of Mawu himself?

Since when did the image and likeness of Mawu Sogbolosor become the look-alike of insult then?

You people sit there and act cool like agbelemor, when I know deep down your hearts you feel salted like akpatogui. Cowards!

As for me Kofi Nyantomago, I will speak my mind: Osofo Ototobilla had no right to call anybody insult even if he is a super pastor!!

Eeeh, Ziboyim, I see the light in your eyes; so I have spoken your mind? Hypocrite!

What else do you want my big mouth to say for you? That if it were not to be the Anyuatel and perfume and expensive clothes that Osofo Ototobilla is able to buy with the collection from his church members, he would have looked more like an ampan brother,  compared to the people he has called insult?

Oh, ok I get your point Ziboyim: in life, when you monkey about, you attract pelts of banana peels from the blue. But nye bro, my mouth is not your ghetto blaster, wai. You too speak for yourself!

As for me, I maintain that Super Pastor, Osofo Ototobilla, must apologize to all Ghanamanians for that stinker that he hurled at his fellow womanbeans. At the risk of taking a beating for my opinion later in the evening, me, Nyantomago, henpecked husband of Yaa Brefi Manpam, I put it to Osofo Ototobilla that the messiah is not his master if he does not apologize.

Until he does, his role model is Sasabonsam himself. I’ve said it!

I see your frowned face, Akudugu. And from the way your nostrils are flaring like a live funnel I will not be surprised if you say something idiotic right now. Eeh, eeh; don’t speak. Don’t tell me that the golden rule has now changed into, ‘do unto others, before they do it unto you.’

“ICGC chapter twice verse fourth; ‘do unto others before they do unto you!’”

I concede the way Osofo Ototobilla threw blows, hooks and punches just at the mention of his rich fat cheeks, the Son of God’s admonition to turn the other cheek, is not a bye-law for him anymore.

After all, even though the Son of God lived as a carpenter and was born in a manger, isn’t Super Pastor living like Caesar?

The way Osofo Ototobilla was punching the air, just at the mention of his fat rich jowls, it was obvious to me that the palm fruit had fallen too far from the palm tree to be a genuine shirk from the mother tree.

But Akudugu, can you, for the fear of Mawu Himself, deny that the writing has been on the wall all along? I know I have called your attention to Super Pastor several times and you have brushed me off, but for once speak the truth and shame Sasabonsam; you know that Ototobilla is a Pastorpreneur!

I am not a half-wit and that is why when some months back, the man told his church congregants to go and save at Kapital if they wanted their money to grow like the grass of Canaan, I told you that Judas had begun wearing a tuxedo.  Oyiwa, you see that I was right?

Kumchacha sounds like a nickname of the Devil himself, but do you think even he can use the inner sanctum of the latter-day Ark of the Covenant to play chacha the way Osofo Ototobilla was doing at the time?

I am not surprised at all, that now that the walls of Jericho have fallen we are seeing that Ototobilla and his family owned 51% of Kapital. Oh yes, Ototobilla, the man of God  and his family were bank owners even though he was always collecting tithe, faith offering, seed offering and even plant offerings from his congregants.

I remember how he told his congregants to dole out 210million cedis in special offerings before Mawu would make them millionaires. Hmm, all along, Super Pastor was collecting in the name of God, and putting into his own bank account!

Robbing God to pay Osofo!!!

But praise be to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, who cannot be mocked; the walls of Jericho have fallen and even Super Pastor Ototobilla has been made to see his smoothness level.

I can almost hear Mawu Sogbolosor thundering the rhetorical question from above: ‘For what shall it profit Osofo, to pack all the collection in his own bank account and lose the bank itself?’

And if Mawu Himself has brought down the walls of Jericho why must Ghanamanians who have seen the lesson therein be insulted for calling a spade a spade?

Osofo Ototobilla must apologize for the classification of some children of Mawu Sogbolisor as the look-alike of insult. Or else, some of us will also start calling him Osofo meko ooo, aaaah.

After all, is it not this same Osofo Ototobilla who after using church collection to build a university, has thought it fit to let his own biological children to go to university in Dollar land?

Super Pastor’s biological children have Dollar Land education, but all his spiritual children who pay him collection and tithe must try and go to his University in Ghanaman, even though the Bible says “Love your neighbor as yourself.” mmtcheew.

Come to think of it, that serious property that Ototobilla and his family own in Dollar Land, shouldn’t they be investigated? I mean Uncle EOCO is supposed to be sniffing around the debris from the fall of Jericho Wall to see if the managers of Kapital raped her into yaamutu, wouldn’t Osofo Ototobilla who was the headman be the best person to start with?

Akudugu, you are the stupidest among us all, but even you, do you not sense that momoni smells in the mouth of the cat? Yes, of course, the smell is a mixture of church incense, “and something else” I know. You twat, that something else is nyankomazie, or keteasehye, proye kuuu!

Bible says, it will be more difficult for the rich man to enter Heaven than for a camel to pass through the eye of the needle ooo. Therefore, if you see any Osofo who owns ranches in far away Virginea, and expensive properties in Trassacco, do you need anybody to tell you that even Heaven itself suspects him?

Akologo, even you who claim to be a future scientist, how long will it take you to save before you can buy a ranch costing $925,000?

They say the luxurious property is 10 acres in size and has a two storey-building located on it! Again, the building covers an area of 6,000 sq. ft. and has as accessories, four bedrooms, five bathrooms and garages.

And the whole architecture is custom-made colonial style!

Akologo, the Son of God, who founded Christianity, was born in a manger, served as a carpenter and lived as a fugitive all his life before he was crucified. What kind of a follower of his owns 10 acre ranches?

Oh I know, the way your nose is shaking balado, balado like that, I know you are not comfortable with me pointing out the truth to you about the only Osofo that you listen to.

EOCO…eee…where are you?

 

 

Source: Kofi Nyantomango

The Republic News Online

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